I never wrote about my word for 2015, although I did choose one. It was probably the most emotional, life-changing year I’d have thus far. I didn’t write much at all in 2015, because I was busy living life as fully as I could. I was tired with the pregnancy and, later, with a new baby, so I focused the energy I had on simply trying to savor my experiences.
Savor was, in fact, my word, and it fit the year perfectly. It’s defined as “to give oneself to the enjoyment of.” (dictionary.com) I was not always successful, but choosing this word to focus on really helped me remember that I was in a sacred season. I tried not to judge myself based on the standards we have in our culture for being “productive”. I spent a lot of time holding my baby. I tried to savor the awe I felt over this miracle God had done through my body instead of waiting impatiently for it to heal and shed the extra pounds I’d gained. I even enjoyed the quiet of being home with Benjamin during the day.
I became a student of this little person and tried to learn everything I could about him. We played music and cuddled, and I had many one-sided conversations and dance parties with him as he peered up at me. Later, he began responding with meaningful coos and babble. I watched him grow like crazy. We went for walks on the trail near our house every day while I listened to podcasts. Oh, how I savored (and still savor) our walks. I love that he insists on fresh air and exercise every day. My little outdoorsman. In 2015, he learned new things each week or so, and it felt like I was constantly packing away darling little outfits that he only wore a handful of times. I took a lot of pictures and videos and sent them to Bryan at work and to our families, sometimes. I allowed myself to rest when I had an opportunity. I started to enjoy cooking again! It was like reconnecting with a beloved old friend. I soaked in the joy of giving our families their first grandson/nephew/great grandson. Watching them with Ben is pretty great. I marveled at the fall leaves in our new neighborhood and took in a few sunsets with my sweetheart. We started planning date nights and cherishing that quality time together. I enjoyed my family’s first visit to Costa Rica and spent my birthday at one of my favorite places there. Talk about savoring…
Even amidst all the adjustments—the sleep deprivation, leaving my job and figuring out new ways to interact with other adults, what it means for my identity to not be in the professional world right now, learning to breastfeed, having someone who is completely dependent on me, trying to balance our time and energy so that we’re still taking care of our marriage, changing our budget, feeling vulnerable in a way I had never experienced before…—even in processing ALL of this, it was an incredibly sweet, joyful time that I will always look back on with deep gratitude.
Now we are barely into the new year, but when I reflect on 2015 a lot of it feels almost like a beautiful, crazy dream. I’m so glad that I choose savor for this past year, and I want to continue this practice. I hope you will do some savoring of your own, too. I will leave you with this song that helped define 2015 for me. It was played often in our house and car.
My next post will reveal my word for 2016. Grace and peace to you all.