Here is the conclusion of Ben’s birth story! If you’re still reading, thanks for sticking with me. 🙂
At first, I thought the nurse who was with us during this time was less friendly than the others had been. Then I realized that she was just focused and serious because she needed to be prepared for anything to happen. This was the main event. I pushed for about 40 minutes, with Bryan, the nurse and (toward the end) my awesome OB encouraging me. It really didn’t feel like a long time, and I was concentrating hard on making as much progress as possible with each push. I was SO ready to meet my boy! I remember being surprised that for much of this time it was just me, Bryan and our nurse in the room. It felt quiet and less dramatic than I imagined it would be. We also thought they would have Bryan put on scrubs. Apparently, that’s only for C-sections. I could tell when the baby was close to being born by the increasing pressure and the rising level of excitement in the room.
My heart was beating fast, and a wave of emotion swept over me as I took in the reality of the moment. “Look down,” my doctor said. And just like that, she held him up. I couldn’t breathe. It was so surreal. She placed this tiny, beautiful boy on my chest and time stood still. It was love at first sight. I don’t remember the OB showing Bryan where to cut the cord because I couldn’t take my eyes off of my baby’s sweet face. I did a weird laugh/cry kind of thing and looked at Bryan. His eyes were as big as his smile. They took Ben over to give him his first bath and do the tests and measurements. He was fussing a little bit, which was a beautiful sound for us. When I heard his weight, I couldn’t believe it. He was not the big baby I was expecting. Everything looked good. Praise God! Bryan told me that he wanted to go out and tell our family, but he wouldn’t announce the name. He would let me do that. He came back quickly, and awhile later we were settled in our postpartum room.
Everyone came in walking gingerly and speaking in hushed, reverent tones. I loved watching the awe on their faces–all these people who have loved me so well for my whole life. Now, we were making them grandparents, aunts, uncles, great grandparents, great aunts and uncles and whatever you call your cousins’ relationship to your kids. They gathered around the bed as I introduced him by name for the first time. I’ve always loved the name Benjamin, and Benjamin in the Bible was beloved. The apostle Paul was from the tribe of Benjamin. Our son’s middle name is Walter after my Pawpaw. I hope I never forget the look on my Dad’s face when he heard that. The cozy hospital room radiated with joy. Just as everyone started to pass Ben around, I saw someone outside the doorway in my peripheral vision. It was the nurse who helped me deliver Ben, and she was smiling. She didn’t come in, and I don’t think she saw me notice her there, but I’m so glad she got to see our family celebrating this little life she helped me bring into the world.
It was difficult to choose which pictures to share here, but I’ve included a few of those first few days with our little Easter baby.
Thank you for sharing in our joy!